I have been keenly aware as of late how precious this life is. A friend of my teenage child took their own life recently and another friend attempted to do the same just a few days following that. My family has seen its share of self-harming behaviors so I am no stranger to the perils of a soul left untended to.
I contemplated these events as I walked the path that while visible in the picture above, had branches and turns that I knew would either take me in a number of circles if I didn’t pay attention to where I was going or lead me to the place I’d started, so still in a circle but not quite taking as long to get there.
Even though I knew what was ahead I didn’t really know. My sense of distance wasn’t something I really needed to utilize that day, so I had no idea how long I might be walking – and like what I have found myself imagining what will be ahead when I’m no longer alive (I know I won’t be in my current body in the current time), there is a strange peace that I feel just knowing it won’t be what will be at that moment.
This has always been the reason whenever I have considered controlling my departure from this Earth that I take some measure of comfort in, and perhaps it’s the reason those before me who have determined their time here also sought – as it’s always an overbearing quantity of discomfort that ultimately warrants such actions, even if unintentionally.
And this too, as with everything up to know that I can find some commonality in this human experience of – I love, as I understand all too well the desire and ever present need to control that which I can.
For many, accepting that we will die and that all those we love will also die is the one truth that can feel almost impossible to accept, let alone love. But death is part of life and everything that goes along with it…so I’ll invite you to take some time to reflect today on your life so far, what lies ahead, and whether you can love something like suicide as you could love the person that determines that that is how they have chosen to control when and how they go.
TimeSpaceOne 