It’s the day before Memorial Day as I write this and there are signs all around of the pending celebratory event. I discovered in some searching that the day was formerly known as Decoration Day because of the decorating of graves that many family members took part in doing after the deaths of loved ones starting with the Civil War.
While I do not know anyone personally that’s died while serving in the military, both of my parents and other members of my extended family have and still are a part of various branches of the armed forces.
I am grateful that there are individuals who are willing to forgo their freedom in order to protect the country I reside in from attacks, and while I do not support war in any form, I do understand that until those who do choose to war evolve to a more rational form of resolution making we will continue engaging in what I know to be a horrific and senseless act of manipulation.
Which brings me to the war within myself.
I am, depending on which data I choose to look at, now on the other side of the middle of my life and, at the age of 46, feel injustices that abound around me more than ever and wonder, where has my love for my self gotten off to? After almost a handful of decades behind me and more experiences than I can remember, what I feel most through the course of my days is more the sense of duty to serve those in more need than myself.
I receive what I give and the space that’s created in me to receive when I am giving of my self lets love, fun, joy, peace and so many other good feelings in that it wouldn’t seem as though there’s any war at all taking place in my being – and often there’s really not – but in the days leading up to my writing this I’ve been feeling less than alive and the love I’ve been giving myself is somehow falling a bit flat.
Most likely because I haven’t been loving my self as much as others.
How do you balance or keep track of such things? Is it just a check in with our energy levels that will tell us? Do we need to have physical reminders around us to show us how full or empty our proverbial love tank is? What can we do to ensure we’re loving our selves today?
Spend some time considering this and journal about the ways in which you may consider loving your self in new ways, especially if the old ways have passed on like fallen soldiers, though you can certainly remember them in whatever way serves you best.
TimeSpaceOne 